Monday, January 18, 2010

what if...

Hello there!

I'm back in action.  

How was your Monday?
Mine wasn't too shabby, considering that I had the day off from escuela.

So sorry I haven't been a very active commenter.  Having a google reader that full is a bit overwhelming to me, as I'm sure it is to anyone.

I just want to thank you all for your wonderful support and sweet words on my struggles, pictures, and art!  You all have the ability to make me smile no matter what kind of day I'm having.  

I was thinking today (I know, what a shock) and I was playing that "what if" game in my head.  I was asking myself questions like, "what if all this had never happened to me?".  And as I started to think about the endless possibilities to this open ended question, I realized something.  This may sound a little funky, but..I'm happy my eating disorder came into my life.    I'm grateful, actually.  Honestly, god only knows where I would have been without it.  I am stronger, wiser, soon to be healthier than I ever was or would have been.  And guess what?  I AM NOT IN DENIAL.  If there is one thing I remember about me before ED, it's denial.  I tried to act as if my self-esteem was perfect, when in fact, it was the complete and total opposite.

So, I'm curious. 

What is the happiest obstacle or problem you have ever had in your life?

Again, I realize that by no means is an eating disorder 'happy', but in the end, after and during the throws of recovery there is so much to take away from the struggle. 

That's all I have for today.


thanks we heart it.


  1. wow, what a fun blog! you're beautiful! i love your outfit in the post below!!

  2. so true! i don't have any regrets, despite how hellish this journey has been at times. all we can do is work on the present moment! <3

  3. Thios reminds me of a poem i wrote but for some reason when someone like you writes it, it pushes it deeper in my skull as i trust your smart words.

  4. I find myself thinking that same thing sometimes. It's hard to regret things we've done in the past when we see where we are now. Yes, maybe there could have been an easier way to get to the point we are at now, but when you see how happy you are you don't really want it any other way!

  5. i know exactly what you mean! overcomin this eating disorder is proving to be quite hte obstacle but i am 100% determined!

  6. Tough question, but overcoming my eating disorder taught me so many life lessons. All of the obstacles I've overcome have made me who I am today!

    Have a lovely day darling,

  7. Very proud of you! :)

    As for the 'happiest obstacle/problem'I'm still in the midst, thus, when I'm further out, we will defnitely talk :)


  8. Quite the thought-provoking post, Emily! I really think that the tragedies which enter our lives, and which we are strong enough to triumph, are the happiest. They really prove just how strong and determined we are to find success and happiness in our lives!! :)

  9. I admire how you approach every obstacles... and I'm glad that you consider the ED a learning experience. It is a happy obstacle which definitely made you a stronger and wiser person. xoxo

  10. So true Em. Our EDs have taught us so much that we would have never had the opportunity to learn had they not existed. While it has taken so much from me, in the long run, i think it has given me so much more. Same for you. love you girl. excellent post!

  11. I'm with you and all these lovely women on this--I view my ED as a blessing in disguise (a really ugly and scary disguise!) because it made me healthier, happier and stronger than ever. And, as a bonus, it helped me realize what I wanted to do with my life--help other girls so they didn't go through the same thing. As horrible as ED is, I think he chose us because he knew we had the strength to overcome it!

  12. I definitely see where you coming from in terms of your ED being a "good" thing.
    For me, although it still plagues me, my depression is something I'm grateful for. It made my childhood and most of my teen years hell. And although there are still times where I find it unbearable.. it's made me into who I am today. I'm a stronger, more determined and more health conscious person than I ever would have been without it. I have a feeling that if I hadn't been forced to deal with it, then I wouldn't be the unique, health-loving girl that I am today.
    As for my bulimia and binging.. I've yet to view that as a good thing. Maybe one day I'll see it in the same light that my depression is viewed in.

  13. the happiest obstacle/problem i had was finishing grad school in syracuse. I love that at 23 i got my masters but i hated every second of grad school lol :)