Saturday, December 5, 2009

let it snow

Happy snow day!

Rain to sun to snow - looks like the weather can’t make up it’s mind :)

I’ve got some looks first and foremost

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Roxy pink cami
A&F cardigan sweater
black pant leggings

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TJmaxx white cami
Papaya gold sweater
Papaya skirt
white leggings
gold flats (..they seemed to have disappeared :D

I’m just cozied up today, not doing much of anything – today is perfect to do just that.  I might dive into some homework to get it done, watch a movie, read, or possibly put up Christmas decor!  This time of year is amazing, isn’t it?  I hope this snow sticks around for the 24th and 25th – I’m a sucker for a white Christmas, then again…I don’t know anyone that isn’t.

I did have a whole other draft written out from Thursday that I was going to post, but I decided not to.  Mainly because it was all mostly negative.  While negativity is bound to be present sometimes, I don’t like to bring  it onto my blog as much.  Before anyone points out that talking about ED is negative, I have to correct you on that – struggle is not negativity.  It is, in fact, the complete opposite.  If one is struggling that just means they are fighting against whatever force is threatening their well-being.  So, no, I will talk about ED as openly as I want to, just not in a triggering way.

Therefore – yes, I have been struggling.  Struggling to keep afloat among all this progress I have made.  There are so many more steps I have to take, but I feel like the next is a giant leap rather than a step.  I feel as if my fear is going to consume me entirely, I’m not sure how to cope with it while I’m moving forward.  Recently I wrote a comment on a fellow chicas blog that I can’t believe I wrote and I feel as though maybe I should take my own advice.  Recovery is not supposed to be comforting – I just need to get used to that.  I shouldn’t go into this thinking, “oh, this’ll be a piece of cake…I can take care of this quickly” WRONG.  Getting healthy again is far from comfortable, for lack of better words, it’s standing naked in front of an entire room full of people.  Well, maybe it isn’t that embarrassing – but it’s difficult to do.

How have you benefitted from stepping outside your comfort zone? 

Or what have you been putting off that is outside of your comfort zone?

take a chance – you might as well live your life, right?

thanks to all of you who have entered my giveaway!  It has been so much fun to put on :)

Enjoy the snow if it’s falling where ever you are, 
it hasn't stopped here!

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  1. I'm a sucker for white christmases as well :) enjoy your day!

  2. Holy cow that is alot of snow! We have had a bit here, but only temporary stuff :P

    Feeling the intense pressures of recovery can be really discouraging, but congrats on trying to apply your own advice! I often find myself advising people about things that I myself struggle with and it definitely changes my perspective.
    You are one tough cookie and ED doesn't stand a chance :) Keep fighting my dear!

    The last time I stepped outside my comfort zone was when I ate out in a restaurant twice in one day. This freaked the heack out of me, but the next morning I realized that it wasn't such a big deal =)

  3. Awesome outfits girl.

    I'm dreaming of a white Christmas but that will just be a dream unless we spend our Christmas some place where there is snow.

    I've done a lot of things outside of my comfort zone and it made me a whole lot stronger and wiser.

  4. aw sweetie, I definitely understand now wanting to bring about "negativity" on your blog -- but if you ever need to reach out please email me! I know the worst thing to do when we're suffering is bottle up our emotions and allow our EDs to dictate our moods. I am always here for you if you ever need to vent, hun! Got it?! and you are spot on -- struggling is not negative.. it's difficult, yes.. but it makes us that much stronger. You are a force to be reckoned with! Love you lots, beautiful!

    p.s. adore that skirt!

  5. wow that is a lot of snow! we've just had little flurries...
    i feel you on the giant leap out of the comfort zone, i wish i had some examples of when i've done this, but alas its on my list of things to do. you're right about struggling, i've never really thought about it that way...
    last time i took a step...margarine , made eggs with it, but i've been putting off pizza
    so smart miss emily, this isn't easy, we all know this, but i know i sometimes find myself thinking it should be.
    happy saturday, loving the outfits! especially those boots!!

  6. By stepping out of my comfort zone my life has become so much easier. Without worrying about food and exercise so much has been lifted off of my shoulders. I can live my life so carefree.. not worrying about what I will eat, how much, and when I will workout again. It's a long process, but in the end its so worth it. I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I definitely struggled with distorted eating (if that makes sense?). As scary as stepping out of your comfort zone may be, in the end it is so liberating. I remember eating full fat ice cream for the first time, and It was so amazing! I love your blog( I just stumbled on it today... [: ), and I wish you the best of luck!

  7. SNOW!!! so exciting. you are doing great girl, keep it up.

  8. every time i step outside my comfort zone, i learn new things about myself, that in itself make sit worth while

  9. "struggling that just means they are fighting against whatever force is threatening their well-being."
    LOVE this

    i need to step out of my comfort zone when it comes to getting out and meeting new people.. and being in a differant surrounding.
    also with eating more food. obv. :(

  10. I stumbled across your blog via Leah's, and I wanted to mention to you: I have struggled with ED for, gosh, ten years now. Since I was eighteen. And EVERY DAY is hard. You know this. Staying healthy always seems just a little out of reach. And I'm ashamed, still, that I struggle, because I'm an intelligent woman with an MFA and several published short stories, and I should be over this, right? But it's a daily struggle, and itprobably will be for the rest of my life.

    Please stay strong. You are young and BEAUTIFUL. And there's snow outside your window! Yay!


  11. your so lucky you've got snow! white christmasses are too beautiful.

    and im so happy to hear that despite negetive feelings, you are still fighting. you're right - struggling just shows that we are still on the right path, even if it is not the easiest one. recovery is meant to be testing, difficult and painful... but the end prize will make it all worth it :)

    loads of love
    xo hannah