Sunday, November 22, 2009

sum-it-up Sunday

Hey there guys.

As I’m drowning in a sea of books, binders, and study guides, I’ve actually found a small ounce of time to post :)

1. Its all uphill.

Once I feel like I’m on the top of the world, it seems like I only sink to the bottom.  Lately I’ve felt so ED-ish.  All I  want to do is NOT do what I need to do.  Sounds pretty bad right?  Just because I don’t want to do the right thing, doesn’t mean that I’m going in the opposite direction.  I am still eating about the same, but I’m beating myself up about what I eat.  When I say I, I probably should say ED.  The feeling that I am working toward something that is hard for me to want, is still difficult to grasp.  YES I want health, YES I want happiness, YES I want recovery.   However, actions are way more powerful than words, I want the idea of it, I just don’t want to actually do it.  This whole recovery battle is like a rollercoaster - one day I’m up, the next I’m down.  I often feel hypocritical for posting things on this blog that sometimes I don’t even follow myself, but I suppose that it’s part of the process of connecting mind and body.  Maybe thinking this stuff up is just the first step in the right direction.

2. ‘tis the season.

The month of December is knocking at the door already!  What are you asking for for Christmas?

I never get sick of this movie…

3. suggestions?

I really want some new music to listen to, anyone got any favorites?  By no means have I scoured itunes, but I’d like a place to start :)  Bring on the music!


Okay, I’d never thought I say this, but – I HAVE TO READ THE TWILIGHT SAGA ASAP.  Before seeing New Moon, I had no interest in the whole vampire seen, but now that Edward and Jacob have me smitten…it’s time to borrow my sister’s beloved collection of books.  I loved the movie, despite having seen the first one, I caught on relatively quickly.  Any readers or movie-goers out there?  What’d ya think?

5. Thank you!

Finally, I just want to thank all the new visitors and followers to my blog.  It means so much to me to have such wonderful support! 

Sweet dreams :)


  1. ahhh i just wrote a New Moon review. I read the books (except for the last one... i just couldn't take it anymore. I hated the books) I LOVED New Moon

  2. It's great that, even though your ED is ringing in your ear, you aren't letting it effect your progress. As far as music... I highly recommend the albums For Emma by Bon Iver, Fantasies by Metric, Do You Feel by The Rocket Summer, Our Endless Numbered Days by Iron & Wine and City and Colour. Those are all my favorites!

  3. Every battle has its own share of pain and glory. You have to weather the suffering in order to win the battle. Emily, mind over matter. You can do it.

    On a lighter note, I can't suggest my music to you my dear. We are generations apart, I'm sure you will laugh at my choices. :-)

  4. As soon as I saw "This holiday season, discover your inner elf" I thought of something really corny but extremely appropriate.
    "Discover your inner self". Yeah, yeah, I know that was a really obvious thing to say, but part of this battle is finding yourself amongst all the lies ED spreads throughout our mind and body.
    It is a battle, yes, but it's possible.

    There's always going to be down days, but there's always up days, too. Latch onto those up days, and use them as reminders. It is, like Leah said, mind over matter. But you CAN do it.

    All my love,

  5. *cries* elf may be one of the saddest movies ever, and i think i may have been the last "good" movie that will ferrel has done. Well its amazing,i watched it hospital last year before Christmas and this year i shall watch it at home.

  6. Everything you posted in number one is exactly how I feel a lot of the time. It is definatly and Up and Down battle.. over and over.. and yes, I feel hypocrytical a lot telling people to keep going! and stay strong! etc.. and its true.. but I know I need to stay strong too. and to KEEP FIGHTING no matter what.

    I LOVE ELF!! Such a cute movie!
    I have no idea what I want for christmas this year... sigh.

    i need new tunage as well.. John Mayers CD is supposed to be fab.

  7. hey love -
    recovery is very much like a roller coaster - sometime you're up and sometimes you're down. even though you feel like you're in a down spout, stay positive. remember your motivations, and think about all of the good things that will come out of recovery (there are so many!). what am i asking for for xmas? new shoes!
    have a great day, stay strong,

  8. i completely relate to what you said about recovery being an uphill struggle, like a rollercoaster. i wake up each day and think "when is it going to get any easier?" but i think if it wasn't so damn hard, the prize at the end wouldnt be so worth it, you know? when we have our healthy, happy bodies and souls we will appreciate so much more because we know how much strength and determination it took to get there. keep fighting my love <3

    i've read the first 3 books and have mixed feelings... loved the 1st, found the 2nd one harder to get into because edward hardly appears in it haha, and the 3rd was pretty good.

    oh and ELF = LOVE!

    xo hannah

  9. how is it possible that you managed to include two of my favorite movies ever in one post? Elf is amazing and well, I think you already know how I feel about new moon ;)

    happy monday, gorg!

  10. Ah, Elf! do you know that for a full three months I answered my cell phone with "Erika the Elf, what's your favorite color?" after seeing that movie. It's really sad to admit now, but at the time it seemed funny. :)

    Music! One of my favorite things. Okay...Pixie Lott, The Noisettes, Kesha, Little Joy, The Maccabees, Albert Hammond Jr., Rufus Wainwright, She & Him. I think that's it for now. I don't want to completely overwhelm you! :)

  11. i completely know what you mean, recovery is one bumpy rollercoaster. i hate how Ed is so critical, even though there is no reason for him to freak out...this happened to me a lot last week, i don't think i was feeling safe or under control...all that seems to help is rationally telling myself that "i am okay"
    ah elf love :) & new moon, what can i say ;)
    i wish i was cool and could help with the music...i am totally a music lame-o, but i do love the fray
    have a great day dear!!

  12. Haha Elf! That movie is hysterical. Cotton headed ninny muggins.. lol.
    Christmas is going to be absolutley fantastic this year.

    For your music fix, I have to agree with Colleen on The Rocket Summer 'Do You Feel'. The music on that album is just so uplifting, makes you feel like a child during the summertime :)
    Also, you might like The Hush Sound. Great stuff.

    Keep on fighting Emily. You have no idea how much you are helping people. You are such a strong fighter. ED always comes and attacks during recovery, you just have to remind him that it's over between you and your break-up is permanent. You hold all the power :]