Sunday, November 29, 2009

easy like Sunday morning…

Good morning – how are you all doing?

muy bueno over here :)

Let’s start summing things up…

1. a point of view I wasn’t expecting.

Last night, as I was perusing the grocery store, admiring the wonderful food and gourmet breads, desserts, and premade meals that Wegmans had to offer…I passed by a woman.  This was not just any woman, however.  She was barely there, emaciated to the extreme.  I was taken back by her frailty – her height, her weight, her bones protruding out from underneath her skin.  I didn’t mean to stare, because I honestly know what that feels like – but I realized, it’s hard not to.   I continued walking and managed to sneak a look at my mom, who had noticed as well.  She smiled and said, “I know what you are thinking”.  I immediately asked her in curiosity.."Did I ever look like that?” and without hesitation my mom proceeded to reply “Yes.”

Not only did I not believe her then, but I’m still having difficulty believing it now.  How could I not have seen myself in that way?  How could I have let myself get to such a low point? 

Have you ever come across someone in your daily life that made you cringe at the sight of how thin they were – how did it make you feel?  What was going through your mind?

2. If you thought last week was bad…

Okay, so last Sunday I professed my love for the Twilight Saga after I had seen New Moon in theatres.  Now, I’m sorry, but you are going to have to read more of my ranting :)

I started reading Twilight on Wednesday and can’t put it down.  Edward, will you come sweep me away? Please?!  I swear to goodness – he is the perfect guy, no joke.  Who would’ve thought my dream guy would be a vampire…psh, not me that’s for darn sure.

If you could choose one character out of a book, movie, or even TV show to be your “significant other”, who would it be?  Come on - ‘fess up!  There has to be one out there that you’ve made goo-goo eyes at before…

3. Okay…so it’s about New Moon again..BUT keep reading!

I picked up the soundtrack – I love it!  All of the songs are alternative if you are into that sort of genre.  Some of my favorites are Satellite Heart by Anya Marina and Possibility by Lykke Li.

4. Under blogstruction.

I’m planning on vamping up the ascetic aspect of my blog here and there in the near future.  As you can see I’ve added extras underneath my header, where I have a section for my story, fashion, and food.  Those will be completed soon when I have more ideas and time, but for right now they’ll have to remain the way they are. 

5. hi-ho, hi-ho…

…it’s off to work I go :)  I am working in some more hours today -I’ll have to read everyone’s posts tonight or perhaps via cell phone if today is slow.

Have a wonderful Sunday!

13 comments:

  1. Love the new thing under your header... makes the blog more professional-looking. I can't comment on the Twilight sage because I haven't read the books and I don't want to watch the movies until I read the stories. Have a great Sunday Emily!

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  2. yeah, i think after reading twilight every girl wants her own vampire boyfriend. i would either choose edward cullen or noah from "the notebook"... he builds his girl her dream house, what more do i need to say?!

    and yep, the experience you had in the supermarket is all too familiar to me. when i see an emaciated girl im so full of mixed feelings - sorrow at the pain she must be feeling and hopelessness that theres nothing i can do to help her, but then my ED always kicks in and makes me feel guilty for not being as thin/sick as her :( such an awful way of thinking, but it shows how twisted anorexia is.

    enjoy your sunday my dear <3

    xo hannah

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  3. girlll, i've totally been there with seeing yourself in someone else and it's difficult, but i think that's god's way of showing you where you were and how far you've come! keep up the good work, because you deserve it and your body deserves it!

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  4. Recently I had that same issue, but it was a photo I saw and I showed Mum and she looked away and said "it's like looking at you again" and I didn't believe her, I said "If I looked like that, then why didn't people stare at me?" and she just sighed, ran her hands through her hair and said "Katie, people just stared at you all the time. Where ever we went, there were about five people staring at you"

    it's a wake up call, and sometimes I still don't believe I looked that bad.
    It really depends on my mind frame.

    I'm excited to see how your reconstruction for the blog goes!
    xxxxxxxx

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  5. totally excited for the blog makeover! it looks wonderful so far :)
    it makes me really uncomfortable to see emancipated girls (ugh it seems like they are all over the place at school...) i often have to talk myself down a lot so i don't get triggered, i wish i could just ignore it and not look, but you're right its hard not to stare.
    oh edward, got to love him :)
    have a beautiful sunday dear!
    xoxo

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  6. The soundtrack for New Moon is phenomenal! I love Bon Iver!
    And Emily, thank you so much for the kind comment you left me. Thank you so much for helping me keep my chin up, I really can't tell you enough what a wonderful person you are!

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  7. oh the Twilight moons put the movies to shame -- I have read them all twice (the first one three times.. meh!)

    after suffering from my own ED it has really opened my eyes to the how many individuals there are out there who suffer as well. I have seen others who are just shocking and truthfully difficult to look at. In some ways - looking at them keeps me motivated. I never want someone to look look at me and see that thin, frail, helpless girl ever again! I hate to see others suffer, but it reaffirms my own recovery and makes me incredibly proud of how far I have come. It's comforting to know that those miserable days consumed with self-hatred and thinness are past me, ya kno??

    Thanks for a very thought-provoking sum it up sunday, hun!

    p.s. love the new layout!

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  8. I am so relieved after hearing you went through the same thing as me. It is not something you ever get used to. I also asked my mum if I looked like that, and she said "yes", but of course I didn't believe her. I never saw myself that way, so obviously I never looked that way!
    But that's the ED deception playing its role. It's terrifying, how easily your conscious thoughts can be manipulated.

    On a lighter and more positive note, your edits are looking amazing. You creative thing, you!

    I hope you have a beautiful day,

    Eleanor,
    xo

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  9. I know exactly what you must have felt looking at that woman. It's so hard to digest that you once looked like that. You are so much stronger now! You are lovely, my dear.
    :)

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  10. its seems everyone is having realizations at the moment, its harsh but i think it happens for a reason and in the end will only make you stronger

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  11. I really struggle when I see super sick people. But I realize that it is NOT BEAUTIFUL. healthy is beautiful. i would much rather have someone stare at me and admire my strong toned body. instead of people staring because i look sick. Thanks for reminding me of this.

    can't wait to see the new changes to the blog!

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  12. love the nee header. I wish I was skilled enough to create something like that. I have never read twilight and probably never will but I am sure it is a great book!

    Have a great day sweetie!

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  13. Loving the way you've begun to change your layout - it looks fabulous, Emily! The incorporation of the skeleton key emblems is gorg - perfect for the title of your blog! It's as if they have the power to unlock the Secret Doors of your soul or something! :)

    I think it's good that your mom was truthful with you, and just said that you had looked like that yourself. Sometimes it's the hardest thing to hear, but it's definitely something that knocks some sense into you. :/

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