Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Thoughts

Happy Tuesday!

How ‘bout my look?

9-6 005

- fur vest (pho-fur of course!)
- white quarter length shirt
- black leggings
- leopard flats

That vest was so soft and warm..perfect for today’s cold, rainy weather!

Anywho – moving on…So as I mentioned in my last quick post I feel as if I am skimping on the content of my posts.  What I mean by that is I feel like I’ve gotten away from sharing more insight or thoughts and I really want to get back to that.  In order to do so I think I’m going to have a new feature on the blog.  Some topics that really provoke thoughts and opinions on stuff related to everyday life, including mine.  What do you think?  Perhaps, Thoughtful Thursdays or Insightful Insert or Wise Wednesdays, something along those lines.  I want my readers input on what the feature should be called, so please don’t be shy!

Many of my deepest thoughts come to me in a specific place.  No, it’s not in the car, or school, or my room.  In actuality, my mind is flooded with these thoughts while I’m in the shower.  I probably spend way too much time in there, but it is time well spent. I’m killing two birds with one stone - getting squeaky clean and pondering the things that arrive on my brain’s doorstep.  Why am I telling you this?  Well because yesterday, as I was doing my normal thinking routine under the steam, one particular thing crossed my mind.  I began to look at my arms, remembering how they had been progressively for the last year; thin and lacking muscle.  I also kept in my mind how my arm used to look; strong, healthy, and muscular.  Then just for giggles, I lifted my arm, wasting more water that my parents can afford ;) and started to flex. I used to do this when ED had a stronger hold on me, but back then I was happy when it was just a flab of skin and bone – or ED was happy.  When I looked at my arm and flexed for that first time in a while, I noticed some difference.  There was something there!  It wasn’t just a skinny, little arm waiting for some nutrition, my arm actually had form.  I’m not implying that I’ve grown super, body-building arms in the last month or so, but there has been change!  And the greatest part is that I’m not upset, wanting to go lose a pound, or criticizing my body – I’m actually really happy to see that I’m turning into a healthy young woman.  That little sign signifies my hard work is paying off in little increments, while I’m still struggling in many ways, I’ve got so much to be proud of.  Soon enough, these macho arms of mine will be doing all the things I ever want to do in life and ED isn't going to hold me back.

In recovery, what was your sign that you were on the right track towards a healthy mind and body? 

Well, I’m off to hit the sack.

Sleep tight!

9 comments:

  1. i am so happy for you! ahh you are doing such a great job!

    i'm loving the outfit by the wayyy

    as for me with recovering, ugh i waver, i question myself a lot, but it was nice last night when i was at a dinner with a huge group of people i have never met i was strong enough to take a few bites of the cupcake served to me, and i was okay. i guess that's something...

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1. I love your outfit!

    2. i would love to hear some of your thoughts! ANything you do on your blog will be amazing, im sure!

    3. I am so proud of you love! look at yourself with LOVE and positivity! You are amazing!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love your vest! I'm really glad that you are seeing some positive changes!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love your look. And I love that you are so focused. Keep it up girl.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AHHHH. I love your post today. The sign to me that I was recovering was color back in my face. When I was sick and ED had control over me, I was pale and look emaciated. Now, I am vibrant and have a glow to me that I wouldn't replace for anything! (not saying it's not hard somedays to realize it's good).

    ReplyDelete
  6. I quite like the sound of Thoughtful Thursdays. Even if it just featured a favorite quote of yours or something. It could serve as a day for reflection kind of? :/

    It sounds completely dumb to admit this, but the sign that I was on the right track to a healthy mind and body was that I developed a crush on a boy. The entire time that ED was holding me captive, I thought only of pleasing it; I paid no attention to others around me - it was just me and ED in the world alone. The moment I started noticing people again, I felt as if I was on the right track. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Im so proud of you for how you are viewing the positive changes in your body. You're awesome :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. So proud of you for your great improvements. Also, really loving that vest, I was really close to getting it but ended up getting a ton of accessories instead, they are my weakness.
    Great looks and positive mindset. (:

    ReplyDelete
  9. Aw this post made me so happy :]
    It's so great that you have such a positive outlook on how your body is changing. You're so beautiful!

    Cafe Fashionista, thats exactly what happened to me. It's like once ED stops showing his face so much, everybody else's face becomes so much clearer. And you've never been so excited to get to know the people who are around you. It's amazing :]

    ReplyDelete