Friday, August 14, 2009

Lesson Learning.

Hello there!

Wow! It was absolutely gorgeous today and well spent at the POOL. I finally got some hours in the sun...but I gotta say, I'm pooped!

On a deeper note...
It was nice today because I got to catch up with some old friends that I haven't seen since school ended. Ever since this monster has taken over my life (ED) I've become isolated from my peers and people I used to be good friends with. School this year was hard because I felt like a loner, it felt like I had no one besides my family to vent or talk to about my situation. Whenever I was around the people that I once called my friends I felt out of place, and I felt like everyone was tip toeing around me and my problem. They knew it was there, they just didn't know how to talk to me about it. But what I really needed was for one of them to only say "I'm here for you" or "Are you okay?". That's all. Just some support.

However, I believe that obstacles only make you stronger. And this struggle has opened my eyes and made me realize who the people are that are there for me no matter what. My sister and I have always had a pretty good relationship, although we fight sometimes and get on eachothers nerves, we manage to make amends. But this year she has really been there for me. She lets me hang out with her and her friends, who I find more in common with than people my own age, and I find myself having fun. Something that hasn't happened in a while.

I am also grateful for the friends in my life that have stayed true and are still there to push me back up. My friends Allison and Katie, who I've known since our elementary school days, are still consistant in supporting me despite their own hardships.

So what have I learned?

Everything happens for a reason.

Would I change anything that has happened in my life?

No, because then I wouldn't be Emily.

I thought this was uplifting :]

3 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you found Cafe Fashionista, because, in turn, I found you. I'm going through the same struggle with anorexia - I have been for, oh, about five years now. It's so tough to overcome, and every time you take one step forward, not to sound cliched, it feels as if you've taken two steps back.

    I know the isolation you're feeling. You feel as if you can't have fun with friends because fun often involves food, which is just uncomfortable. Finding little things, like that picture you posted, to keep you motivated and uplifted is one of the only ways to stay...positive. Or at least attempt to stay positive. I'm keeping you in my prayers. :)

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  2. Hi Emily,
    I too was anorexic at your age until I was in my twenties. Sadly, I didn't have anyone to reach out to or help me because it was a very taboo subject at that time (1980s-90s) and I know how you feel when you talk about the isolation. I recovered after lots of support and soul searching and learning to look at myself and life in a new manner and just letting go!

    You are lucky to have such a great family to support you and I bet you will find some new friends in the near future that you wouldn't have expected to enter you life as you talk about your struggles.

    I hope that you continue to find the joy in the little unexpected things in life because that is what happiness is all about!

    -Diane (friend of Ann and you mom!)

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  3. i love your outlook on the situation -- though i would never wish this disease on anyone -- i am grateful for it in many ways.. I know it has made me a stronger and less judgemental person. it also realy puts in to perspective how much your loved ones care about you -- i know my parents and i have gotten so much closer through this difficult journey and i really value our relationship! thank you for sharing your positive insight on recovery :)

    have a great day!

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